Duck in a Bottle.com is a resource page for mediation and conflict resolution resources, curated by Justin Kelsey. Here you will find stories, training tools, links to other useful resources and more. If you have something you’d like to add, or that you want to share with others, please feel free to contact me or connect:
Perspectives
Changing perspective with a duck:
This classic image (like other similar optical puzzles) challenges you to focus not just on the first thing you see but to also see if you can change your perspective and see something else:
This ability to shift perspective is key to effective mediation and negotiation. The ability to see a problem from multiple angles and to not focus on only one side, helps create empathy, understanding, and often leads to creativity in problem solving.
Changing perspective with a bottle:
You may have recognized the unusual bottle in the banner above as a Klein bottle. The Klein bottle was first described in 1882 by the German mathematician Felix Klein. It is an example of a non-orientable surface, a one-sided surface which, if traveled upon, could be followed back to the point of origin while flipping the traveler upside down, similar to a Möbius strip.
The fact that a Klein bottle is one continuous surface means that there is no defined outside or inside. Any point in space can be considered either outside or inside the bottle. This is another example of how your perspective relative to a problem can define your view of it. Consider how changing your perspective on a problem and viewing it from a different angle can change your view of the problem and expand the possible solutions.
Stories
SNL clip on TikTok – demonstrating reframing (some strong language)
Resources
This is a model of joint problem solving built on theories of interest based negotiation and collaborative law. Please feel free to share with attribution to Skylark Law & Mediation, PC.
This is a sample chart used to explain the different aspects of the typical settlement processes for one type of case. Please feel free to share with attribution to Skylark Law & Mediation, PC.
Conflict Assessment Quiz:
Wondering what your ideal conflict resolution process is? We have created a free online quiz to help you Assess your Conflict. After taking the quiz you’ll be forwarded to a page to learn more.
Additional Resources:
Downloads:
Sample Letter to Opposing Counsel or Party proposing ADR
You Have Options – Dispute Resolution Forums Flyer
Mediation Articles:
It’s Time for Less BUTs in Mediation
The Questions that Lawyers and Mediators aren’t asking but should: Let’s talk about Pronouns
More resources coming soon…
Events:
MCLE Family Law Mediation Workshop 2025 – February, 2025 (4 in-person days)
DMTA 40-Hour Basic Divorce Mediation Training – July, 2025 (5 in-person days)
Sponsored by:
Skylark Law & Mediation, PC is a law & mediation practice located in Southborough, Massachusetts focused on out-of-court settlement of family and probate matters.
Gray Jay Endeavors, LLC is a forms and consulting business. Gray Jay FORMS provides template divorce agreements, unmarried parent agreements, fillable financial statement, and more. Gray Jay QDROs provides retirement division forms, QDROs, DROs and retirement division consulting.
Divorce Mediation Training Associates is a joint project of Justin Kelsey and Ellen Waldorf (carrying on the legacy of Diane Neumann, John Fiske, and Philip Woodbury) that provides multiple trainings per year in divorce mediation, conflict resolution, and related advanced mediation skills.
The Collaborative Outpost is the primary office location for Skylark, Gray Jay, and DMTA. It is a convenient co-working and meeting space provider in Southborough, Massachusetts supporting collaboration amongst dispute resolution professionals.